Sleep has been elusive. This morning I was awake at 2:15 am. It’s like someone turned a switch on inside me and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I am so tired my eyeballs hurt. Typically I begin dozing off again around 4 am but my alarm is set to 4:30 am for 5:00 am OrangeTheory and as I wrote yesterday, going fills my bucket.

I haven’t slept well in what seems like weeks. I talked to my doctor about it and he mansplained how to fall back asleep. Yes, I know I shouldn’t look at my phone but when you are lying there wide awake for 45 minutes; what else is there to do? Ugh. The kiss of death is falling asleep with one of the boys. Inevitably, I get woken up in the middle of the night and try to make it back to my bed, which might as well be like drinking a cup of coffee.

I don’t really know the purpose of writing this. Maybe I need to set better intentions and habits. Sleep with headphones next to me because books on tape are great for making me fall back asleep, not guaranteed, but better than nothing. I am hoping this weekend I can catch up a bit. The lack of sleep is unsustainable and it does not make me happy.

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